Yo ho ho! It was Talk Like a Pirate Day recently and I completely missed it, having to spend half of the designated day on a train to the City of Brotherly Love and back, which unsurprisingly did not feel piratical, brotherly, or lovely.
Since then, I’ve been trying to catch up on my reading and my working and my sleeping and Pop Tart acquisition. They don’t sell Pop Tarts at the Whole Foods, which is a crime, frankly. There is a whole food in each and every crazy good™ silver packet of sugary goodness; it’s just not organic so the ecofood warriors are all bent. They have organic “toaster pastries”, which lack the frosting (as if!) and are made with real fruit. Real fruit! Can you believe it?
While I work out how to sue them for shelf space on behalf of Kellogg’s, I wanted to mark down for all posterity (or until the end of Web 2.0) some links. First up, there is the Salary Search at Indeed.com [via Lifehacker]. The average salary of a pirate in Washington, DC, is $55,000; the average salary of a cat is $58,000. Clearly, I am in the wrong line of work.
I should have been a magician ($39,000). Or beter yet, the girl who gets sawn (sawed? ewn?) in half! Instead, I must be content to be enamored with them, especially when they look like Christian Bale or Hugh Jackman in The Prestige or if they read like Glen David Gold’s Carter Beats the Devil or Susanna Clark’s Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell.
Allow me to show you the full shelves of Organic Toaster Pastries at Whole Foods. And now, *poof* those shelves are empty… and awaiting fresh s’mores Pop Tarty goodness! Thank you, thank you!
Art: Hieronymus Bosch, “The Conjurer”